Wow, one whole more post! Today was particularly interesting....my two best friends spilled macaroni all over the cafeteria floor. Mostly because one of them (let's call her...Veronica and the other Cassidy). Well Veronica made a mistake at getting this really annoying and loud kid mad at Cassidy's boyfriend for no reason. So, Cassidy decided to spill Veronica's mac and cheese all over the floor. The whole time I sat there in numbing silence, because I noticed they fight alot. They forgave each other easily, but I wouldn't have. That's just me though. 

My throat is KILLING me! I feel like my tonsils are so swollen I can barely breathe, badness I know. Well whatever, I'll just take Motrin or something. *five minutes later....* I took the Motrin, and it's helping! 

Hmph. Anything to report? I feel unusually depressed today, though I can barely talk. I'm thankful that I can't talk, just because. Maybe I'll become a mute or something, and not talk ever. Nah, that'd be difficult to communicate with teachers. But does it really matter? I'm lonely anyways, what's the use of talking to my best friends about it? They don't realize it, though I've told them that I've been sad. Once or twice. They haven't taken into account that I meant depressed. I'm not on pills or whatever, because it's not bad. I don't wanna kill myself, oh hell no do I. I'm just lonely in life, that's all. 

I found a good song! It's by Brand New, and it's really good. The song is called, The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot. Such a long title, I know. But it's sooo good! Reminds me of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen from Twilight. Yes, I'm one of those girls who's majorly obsessed with Twilight, I've read the first book ten times. Back on track, this song's just awesome ^_^ 

I'm a total music junkie, so many songs to listen to on itunes! I have 1,000 exact, which is a lot to some people. Others? Well, others just think of it has 1/4 of their collection. Oh well though, it's a lot to me. Music is really my own escape from the world besides writing. If someone ever saw me out in public, there'd be an Ipod glued into my ears, blasting some band my friends haven't even heard of before. My other escape? Writing. By the way, I wrote another poem! I need more ideas, anyone wanna help in that department? This ones about roses again. 

He hands me one rose.

A single crimson rose.

It had no thorns, just velvet petals. 

I examine the veins of the leaf it owns,

almost pulsing like human life. 

The color of it’s petals, 

almost the color of blood. 

The bud hasn’t yet opened all the way,

and now will never be able to since it was picked. 

Like a human life taken too early.

I examine the little hairs throughout the stem,

almost human arm hairs. 

There’s beads of liquid on the beautiful flower,

as water starts to pour from the sky. 

It was almost like the sweat of a human. 

It sticks to the flower, 

not dripping until,

there’s just enough to drench it. 

When I look at a rose,

I think of the flower as a human.

Every rose has been a human,

one time in its lifetime.

Today: 2-3-09

Ever realize that when your sick, you can't really think straight? I'm sick today, and having the snow falling outside my window like a huge sheet of white isn't helping much. My house doesn't have any heat (thanks to recession) so I'm bundled up in blankets. My throat hurts. It aches and burns, nothing can soothe it. And then my cough! I'm not going to even go there. My friend's ended up on not getting the homework for me...nice friends...I know. 

There's this girl who talks to me, she's a grade lower than me. No one likes her, she's the most annoying girl ever. And yet she thinks she's so completely cool. She's not. So here she comes into my world, my bubble, and dares to tell me who I am like. I'm not like anyone, I have a mixture of people's attitudes for sure. And to make it seem like I'm like some of her friends, she acts like me, dresses like me, etc. It's so fuckin' annoying, I can't stand it! Every time I get something new, she has it. Every time I say something, she starts saying it. I have been writing poems for awhile, and now recently she started writing poems too. That reminds me! I want peoples to view this and tell me if it's good or not. I sooo suck at writing, I know. But since I'm sick, I wrote this poem: 

A rose.
I see a very red rose the color of blood.
It sits there,
in my garden,
mocking me with its beauty.
It’s so beautiful,
is that what I’m missing in my life?
Perfection?
It seems to laugh at me in all its virtuousness.
I reach for the rose,
wanting to feel the velvet petals.
But when I touch it,
thorns come out.
They jab me everywhere,
blood spilling on the ground.
The earth bleeds,
yet I continue reaching for it.
Then I realize the rose that was supposedly red,
has turned black.
Goodbye cruel world. 

How's it sound? I like it sort of, though it sucks. So basically that's my issues summed up for today. Tomorrow I'm sure they'll be more that bug the hell outta me.